Monday, April 28, 2008

Killing Me Softly


Well, I spent all of March and most of April eating cooked foods. So dumb. The reason is silly, too. I had bad insomnia again, and even though I was getting some sleep and didn't really feel all that sleep-deprived (thanks to raw food), I became obsessed with the fact that I couldn't get to sleep when I wanted to. A little (demonic) voice in my head said "eat cooked food, it will make you sleepy".

I tried to counter with the fact that the reason I would get sleepy is that my body would be shutting itself down and focusing on purging the toxins from the cooked food...but by then visions of (nasty) McDonald's breakfast foods were dancing in my head, and I gave in. "Just this once" I told myself...ha! And here we are, six weeks later. I tried at the beginning of April to get with the program and go raw again, but I just wasn't ready. Wasn't motivated, really.

Well, now I am! Everytime I go off raw for a month, my teeth get worse. I have very bad teeth. This time, a little piece of one broke off. It seemed like I could actually FEEL them rotting. Yuck! So now I am RUNNING back to raw. Sometimes God just has to give you a little kick in the pants, know what I mean?

It funny though, after being on raw, especially 100% raw, cooked food is never the same again. Even the "best" meal I had just wasn't all that great. And the sweets? I didn't have much, mostly because they've lost their appeal. Sweets may seem like a good idea, but once I have them they are so disappointing. I just don't get the joy I once did out of them. And afterwards I just feel yucky.

I ate at a raw food restaurant last night. I felt so good! Then I ate a frosted brownie that I'd picked up at the health food store as a last "treat". After all, it was organic, right? Ugh, as soon as I started eating it, the "good feelings" from the raw meal went away. I should have tossed the rest out the window ("sorry for littering officer, but it was a matter of life or death!") but instead I ate the whole thing. WHO HAS CURSED ME WITH THIS OBSESSION TO NOT "WASTE" FOOD?! No matter how junky it is, I am compelled to finish it! Ugh, no wonder I am fat!!!

Okay, so fast forward to today. Nothing but raw. Feeling better. By tomorrow, I should feel great! Unless detox kicks in, in which case, I'll be sick. But that's okay. A little detox flu on my way to a healing, healthy life is much better than killing myself slowly on cooked food.

2 comments:

Patricia said...

Are you having your sixth child? Wow - I wouldn't get too discouraged with weight when you are building a wonderful family!
I just had my fourth baby 5 months ago, and I used to get really bad insomnia every pregnancy until I started taking dandelion tea everyday. You can also take chamomile or lemon balm at night too in a tea to help with sleep. According to bulkherbstore.com, it's safe to take while pregnant. But dandelion was key for me and provides so much in the way of nutrition for the baby. My baby had water on the kidney and after about 4 weeks of taking dandelion tea everyday - no more water on the kidney (ultrasound findings)! The doctor was shocked!

Hope that helps :)
Patricia

Mommaroo2 said...

Yep, expecting baby number six in February. You can read more about that on my other blog.

I wasn't really aware of the health benefits of dandelion tea. I'll have to look into that. I did gather dandelion leaves and flowers this past spring and used them a couple of times in smoothies and salads. Is the tea from the flowers, young leaves, or both?

I've used chamomile before. Last time I tried, it didn't seem to help. However (for now at least) the insomnia seems to have gone away. I've been sleeping great all week.

Thanks for the advice Patricia!